


The Case of Marriage Mugger

by ArgentShiroi



Series: Love to hate you [3]
Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: Banter, F/F, Fake Marriage, Love/Hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentShiroi/pseuds/ArgentShiroi
Summary: A new criminal is in the town and he targets marriage ceremonies. Carmelita and Neyla are tasked to be the bait.





	The Case of Marriage Mugger

**Author's Note:**

> Next trope in the series was arranged marriage. I'm still keeping these intentionally short.

“That’s not funny, Chief,” Neyla reacted before Carmelita could. The vixen seemed still stunned.

“It’s not a joke. The perp targets only marriages and we’re running out of options,” the Chief explained.

Marriage mugger was his name. He was extremely intelligent and equally odd wolf who had ruined many marriages in last few months. He _never ever_ robbed anything else. That was the reason why the Chief had eventually decided to set a trap. Civillians didn’t want a group of polices gate-crashing their weddings.

“B-but why us?” Neyla asked. The stutter and visibly shocked expression were a testament of how truly surprised the usually calm and sarcastic constable was. Carmelita couldn’t blame her.

“Because gay marriage was legalised only few months ago and therefore your marriage should be hot topic. Remember, we don’t know how he chooses his targets,” the Chief explained with cold voice that ended the discussion before it started.

 

*

Carmelita was anything but thrilled but walked to the open park they had chosen for trapping the Marriage mugger. With trees surrounding the small grassy field, it was almost private. They were also swarming with snipers with tranquilisers.

“You know, this place is not ideal for the whole not-supposed-to-see-the-bride-before-wedding tradition,” Neyla said oddly quietly. She was wearing a stunningly beautiful red oriental dress that was most likely a reference to her origin. It covered her from neck to toe being more conservative looking than Carmelita had expected. Heck, even her own white dress shoved more skin.

 “Complaining, Constable?” Carmelita asked, though she didn’t really care for an answer.

“Not really,” Neyla said and swallowed. She looked unusually pale and nauseous. “Aren’t you nervous?”

The question surprised Carmelita who had been thinking this as another mission. It wasn’t her first undercover, not even the first where she pretended to like women.

“Why should I be, Constable?”

“Y-you know, we’re getting _m-married_. You could at least call me by my first name, Carmelita,” Neyla pointed out, stuttering over the m-word. A slight panicky note crawled in her voice. Carmelita had heard it once before, when a bust had gone wrong and they had been hiding in a small closet and waiting for better armed forces to take out _a tank_. Neyla had asked if they would survive.

“You’re panicking because of a marriage ceremony?” Carmelita asked, not believing her ears. Neyla shot a glare at her. “You’re cute.”

“I am not,” Neyla huffed.

“You are, _Kitten_ ” Carmelita laughed. Feeling unusually daring, she leaned in and pecked constable’s cheek quickly.

“Wha-?” Neyla almost jumped away, blushing furiously and glared at her. The tigress looked positively furious. Her tail was swinging fast enough to make swishing sounds and her ears were bended angrily. The best part, however, was gleaming eyes. “Don’t call me that!”

“What, Kitten? Why not? Shouldn’t married couples have pet names?” Carmelita feigned innocence.

When the Chief walked in the room a minute later, he saw Neyla cursing in two languages and trying to strangle a laughing vixen.

“Ladies! Get married first.” The duo sprang apart and Neyla looked horrified, flushing when she calmed enough to realise what their boss insinuated. For the first time possibly ever, Carmelita took teasing better and winked at her from the door, already following their boss. Carmelita was supposed to wait at the altar anyway.

“We can continue later, _love_.”

Neyla growled at her.

 

**

Neyla couldn’t believe how she had ever thought that the case might have been simple. A sniper had shot a tranquiliser at the annoying perp who had made the movie-like appearance right after they had said ‘I do’ and before they had kissed.

The jerk had even mastered the maniacal evil laughter.

With the idiot in cuffs, neither Neyla or Carmelita had seen any reason to continue with the wedding and they celebrated successful arrest instead. For a while everything seemed right when their Chief had come with the news.

“Wait, what do you mean, we’re legally married?” Carmelita asked. Neyla stared at their calm boss, who shrugged. He then explained something about needing authenticity but Neyla barely heard him.

She was legally married.

Her wife probably wanted to kill her.

_Fuck._

“Given how many strings I needed to pull, officials probably won’t allow you to divorce right away,” the chief ended cheerfully. The jerk even happy honeymoon before going to bother someone else.

Neyla glanced at Carmelita. Who was her wife. Wow, that was odd thought. The vixen was beyond pissed. At least the sight was familiar and Neyla grinned, remembering the teasing earlier.

“So, _sweetie_ , we were interrupted earlier. I’m sure no one minds if we _elope_ from this party.”

Neyla had always thought that Carmelita was more like the hippo in Cooper’s gang; slow but stronger than the devil himself. She was proven wrong when the vixen pushed her roughly against the wall in less than a blink.

“Not funny, Neyla,” the inspector growled in low voice. Neyla swallowed and tried to banish thoughts about how _hot_ the vixen looked right now. Her head was spinning lightly and not only because of the alcohol or from hitting the wall.

“Oh, I am being dead serious, Foxy. Someone gave us handcuffs and I think they would look good on you,” Neyla said airily and tried to ignore butterflies in her stomach. She had argued with Carmelita so many times that she _shouldn’t_ be nervous. Or imagine said handcuffs in bedroom.

She winced a little when Carmelita’s grip got tighter. It hurt a little, not that she minded pain. She would never tell that to Carmelita though. Besides, the vixen should refuse her advances in 5 seconds. 4, 3, 2…

The vixen took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wasn’t supposed to do that. Neyla closed her eyes just in case. She didn’t truly think that Carmelita would slap her but the vixen was temperamental to say the least.

“They were obviously meant for you,” Carmelita husked in her ear. Neyla blinked few times and tried to remember how to breathe.

“Wait, what?” The tigress was flabbergasted.

“The handcuffs were for you, obviously,” Carmelita repeated and stepped back. Neyla didn’t move, feeling grateful for the support the wall offered. Her legs felt like jelly and she was pretty sure that Carmelita could hear her hammering heart. The vixen smirked, just like before the wedding.

“Getting cold feet, Constable? I thought you wanted to _elope_ ,” Carmelita asked playfully while Neyla couldn’t get her brain function long enough to form a coherent thought.

“I… _seriously_?” Neyla wanted to bang her head against the wall. Only two weeks ago she would have been winning these little quarrels. Then they were ordered to get married and she seemed to be losing all the time.

Life was so unfair.

“So coherent,” Carmelita teased, then she sobered a little; “If I had known that a marriage was all that was needed to make you speechless, I would have proposed long ago… Now, do I need to carry you to the marriage suite?”

“No thanks. You’d drop me,” Neyla growled and stomped off muttering about stupid foxes.

 

Maybe they both would survive the honeymoon.

 


End file.
